Bilingual Family Profiles April 18, 2012

A couple of fellow bloggers have started adding interview-style profiles of other bilingual families to their blogs. It’s a great way to learn about other families, how they approach bilingualism with their children, and make new connections! There is usually a set of questions about why you chose to be bilingual (or multilingual), what style you use, the rewards, the challenges, etc. You can be as brief or as thorough as you want. I myself tend to be a little wordy, I think

I now have profiles posted on two blogs: Bilingual Babes and Simply Bike. I really enjoyed filling out the questionnaires. I think it’s useful to stop now and then to revisit the reasons we put all this effort into our children’s bilingualism. And participating in these interviews is a great way to do just that.

One of the most interesting questions for me is about the effect on my emotional relationship with Aleksander. I wrote about this issue once before – over a year ago – and it’s still a challenge. I have a hard time comforting or disciplining (ie, thinking really fast on my feet!) in German. It can feel so unnatural to me. I also think that because my English is still stronger than my German, I somehow assume the same is true for Aleksander. His English is definitely more dominant, but does that mean he wouldn’t understand more nuanced language when I try to talk to him about why he’s upset? Not necessarily. But it’s so hard to know. Then again, I just spent a good 30 minutes trying to figure out why he was so upset when I put him to bed tonight, and I’m still not sure we figured it out – and that was all in English! So maybe communication in general is just tricky with a 2-year-old!

I’m really grateful for the opportunity to share more about our bilingual story through my fellow bloggers. It’s a great opportunity to reflect and to read about others. Not only that, but the number of hits on my blog just about quadrupled today! So a big thank-you to Bilingual Babes and Simply Bike!!

Deutsch? What’s that? August 8, 2011

Well, we made the move to our new house on Friday. Things are in pretty good shape. Spent the weekend unpacking the kitchen. So now the rest of the house feels pretty manageable. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

In the past days (weeks??), I feel like I’ve hardly seen Aleksander. I stop now and then for a break to play with him or have a meal or snack. But otherwise, I’ve just been so busy. He’s been spending most of the time with my parents or a babysitter. But even when I am able to spare a few minutes for him, it’s been all English. My brain is so muddled from exhaustion, I’ve hardly been able to form a sentence in English, let alone German! So much for my big OPOL idea. Oh well. Once we’re settled, I know we’ll get back into our German groove.

And there is something else to look forward to! I had to find a new sitter for the fall, since our current sitter is going back to college. And guess what? I think I’ve found a German sitter!! I haven’t been able to meet her yet – she arrives in the States at the beginning of September. So I still have to interview her, but I’m so excited about the prospect of having a native speaker in the house four afternoons a week!!!

OPOL??? July 11, 2011

With the move to our new house coming up, I’m going to be pretty busy packing and waiting for deliveries and hook-ups and whatever else has to happen at the new place. That means Aleksander is going to be spending a lot of time with his babysitter and my parents, none of whom speak German.

What I’ve realized is that, in order to make up for all that time in English, I’m pretty much going to have to speak German with Aleksander all the time. So for the next few weeks at least, it looks like I’ll be testing the waters of OPOL. I’m not sure how I feel about this idea yet.

I’ve said all along that I can’t bear to spend all my time with Aleksander in German, because I feel like we’d both be missing out on so much. There are so many stories, songs, and even words that I want to share with him in English. And by not speaking English with him, I feel like he’d be missing a big part of me.

At the same time, I have to admit I’m kind of excited about this OPOL challenge. After all, it won’t be forever. Just for a few weeks. It’ll be interesting to see how I like having all my interactions with Aleksander in German. I hope I can keep it up!

I do have one concern already. We were at music class this morning, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do. When I spoke quietly to Aleksander, I did so in German. But if I’m going to sing along, I obviously will sing in English. Is that how this works with OPOL? It felt very strange. But then again, I’m not used to speaking German with him at music class, so maybe I just have to get used to it. I’m going to try to take him to a story hour at the library tomorrow. We’ll see how that goes….

Finding Time for German July 7, 2011

Life is still pretty crazy! We close on our new house in less than 2 weeks and move in early August. Unfortunately, it looks like this big move means we won’t be going to Europe this summer   Very sad. But also very worth it.

With everything going on to get ready for the move  -  in addition to my parents visiting for the past week  -  I have been very remiss about speaking German with Aleksander. Grrrrrr! So frustrating! When my parents are here, we tend to lose our routine as a whole. I definitely spend less time with Aleksander when they visit. Partly because he is completely in love with my dad! All of a sudden, Mama takes a distant second place. Only Granddad will do. And as we know, my dad does not speak German! My mom is trying to learn some words. But she has a rather funny Spanish accent when she speaks   Not surprising, considering her second language is Spanish.

But the fact remains that I’m not spending as much time with Aleksander. And even when I am with him, I’m not speaking a whole lot of German. In the coming weeks, it isn’t going to get much better. I have our sitter coming a little more often next week, so I can get started packing. And then my parents will be back for a few more weeks. It’ll be a huge help to have them watching Aleksander and also to help with the packing. But what am I going to do about German? I know it’s always important, but it seems like right now as his speech is finally starting to come out, it’s even more critical to keep up the German.

Would it be enough for right now to make sure he’s hearing German music and that any DVD’s he watches are German? And of course speak as much as I can, even if it’s just a little each day? Am I missing anything? How else can I compensate for the lack of input from me???

There is one other thing going on right now. PER is starting to travel more again. Not so fun for me, since I then become a part-time single parent. However, it does give me the opportunity to speak a lot more German with Aleksander. I usually switch back to English when PER comes home for dinner. He wouldn’t really mind if I kept going. But oddly enough I still have trouble speaking German in front of him, even though he understands it. So when he’s away, I can keep going for the rest of the evening  -  through dinner, our evening walk, bathtime, and bedtime. It makes me feel a lot better. But is this going to work? I don’t even know if my part-time German is going to work when I stick to it consistently. So how does it work when I back off for days and then overdo it to make up for the lack? I guess time will tell!

One thing I know: I’m not going to beat myself up for how it goes. I’ll just keep on trying and doing the best I can. Because at the end of the day, that’s really all I can do!

Life’s Chaos June 24, 2011

I’ve been remiss about writing again. sigh…  So what excuse do I have this time? How about buying a new house?!

We’ve been casually looking for a few months now – a tricky thing to do since Aleksander’s nap coincides with most open house times. A few weeks ago, we finally saw a house we really liked. We continued to look, but found ourselves comparing the other houses to that first one. So we went back for a second look and put in an offer. A mere two hours later we got the news that the sellers had accepted our offer! We’re now going through the inspection process. Closing date is scheduled for July 18. Crazy!!

Of course we’re also busy planning the decorating and new furniture. There’s so much to think about. So many plans to make. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for writing … or anything else.

We’re having to leave Aleksander with a number of different sitters through all of this. He’s being quite a trooper. But all the time spent with sitters means he’s getting a lot of English. Some days I feel like I only speak German with him to compensate and make sure he’s getting enough German input. And I still feel like I’m falling short!

Aleksander isn’t talking much. The only word he says lately is truck. But he does have a few new signs: cookie, flower, and ball. And he’s started doing the motions to songs like “Itsy, Bitsy Spider” (which we also sing in German, of course, thanks to Mummy do that!). It’s super cute

So I’ll continue doing my best to split our days between English and German. And I’ll write when I can!

Any advice? April 25, 2011

We just had a lovely long holiday weekend. With PER traveling so much these days, it was extra nice to have him home. Sometimes when PER gets home from a trip, Aleksander needs a little time to get settled again. But this time, things have been great. Aleksander is even going right into PER’s arms at night to let his Daddy put him to bed.

I, on the other hand, am having trouble adjusting. At least when it comes to our German time. Whenever PER is home during the day, I have such a difficult time moving into – and staying in – German. I forget to make the switch at lunchtime. I usually have switched by naptime, so we’re still getting a story and song in German. I can remember to speak German when I get him after his nap. But as soon as PER is in the room, I slip right back into English. I’m really quite frustrated!

How do you OPOL parents do it? Maybe since you don’t switch, you don’t really have to think about it? But do you find it difficult when you’re speaking to your spouse in one language and your child(ren) in another?

Here’s another situation I haven’t figured out yet…. Last week, we were at the shoe store getting new sneakers and sandals for Aleksander. It was the afternoon, so I’d been speaking German with him. But then began the interaction with the sales woman. It felt so strange to speak German to Aleksander in front of her  -  more so than, say, in the checkout line at the grocery store. I think it felt more awkward, because she was actually part of the interaction. I felt I was leaving her out if I continued speaking German with Aleksander. So what do I do? Stay strict and speak German? (Setz dich hin. Ziehen wir die Schuhe aus.) Or be “polite” and switch to English? (Sit down. Let’s take off your shoes.)

Any advice???

Ich bin wieder da! April 16, 2011

In other words: I’m back!

I’ve been away from my blog for far too long! It all had to do with the cold that wouldn’t quit, Aleksander teething, PER traveling almost every week…. I didn’t even have the time to get the rest I needed to get better or to keep my house in some semblance of order, let alone time for myself and things I enjoy like blogging! But I’m back, I’m better, and I’m ready to start writing again!!

Despite the neverending cold and exhaustion that came along with it, I’m happy to say I’ve done a pretty good job keeping up with our German   Some days I just didn’t feel like it, but I’m always glad when I persevere.

Now that spring is finally here and we’re having some beautiful weather to go to the playground, I’m needing to learn new words again! Der Spielplatz (playground), die Schaukel (swing), and die Rutsche (slide) are three big ones. We’re having so much fun being outside.

Aleksander still isn’t talking, but he sure is walking! A couple of weeks ago, he made the big change from preferring to walk instead of crawl. And then he just took off like a shot! I can hardly keep up with him sometimes! I wonder what people think if they hear me calling after him, “warte mal! Komm mal her!” (wait up! come here!) Tja! (Oh well!)

Timing is Everything February 18, 2011

Aleksander has finally made the full transition to one nap a day. It’s great in some ways, especially if he continues to take long, two-hour naps like he did today! But it is causing a slight challenge for our German in the afternoon. I could just continue to use German after his nap until his dad gets home (about 3-6 pm). That’s still a good chunk of the day. But there are a couple of issues with this new schedule.

First, I like having a meal with Aleksander in German. It’s great for talking about food! So maybe I will switch to German around noon when he has his lunch. The good thing about this plan is that I would then also be putting him down for his nap in German and reading his German books. It feels a little funny to switch from English to German so abruptly, though. Is there a smoother way to transition?

On days when we’re home in the afternoon, Aleksander eventually hits that wall and gets cranky. That’s when we resort to a DVD – not my favorite parenting choice, but it works miracles! (And I can get dinner started or actually sit down to work on my blog!) His favorite is Baby Einstein. Therein lies the problem: it’s in English. Yes, I have a couple of German DVDs, and sometimes they work for him. But it’s Baby Einstein that he asks for all day long. Sometimes I try to offer the German words for what’s being said, but I can’t always do that. And is it even a good idea???

Another issue arises when I have a sitter in the afternoon, which I’ve started doing every Wednesday. I wish I could find a German-speaking sitter, but so far, no luck. So do I switch the time and speak German in the morning? Or do I need to stay consistent, and just skip the two hours that the sitter is here in the afternoon?

The same problem occurs on Thursdays when our play-group meets. That’s not actually a big deal, since the other moms also speak other languages with their kids – Anika speaks German, and Laura speaks Portuguese. It’s hard for me to remember to code switch (since we speak English with each other), but having another German-speaking mom there helps. And they’re both supportive, so I don’t feel like I’m being rude to Laura, who doesn’t speak German.

So those are the issues. The result is that I’m trying to speak German from 12 to 6 with Aleksander. Minus the two hours of nap-time, that makes 4 hours of German. I still have some questions and some wrinkles to iron out, but overall I think it’s a good plan!

Progress Report January 2, 2011

I did okay over the holidays. One day in particular (Friday, I think it was), I spoke German all afternoon with Aleksander despite my parents and husband being around.

Then I got a little lazy.

The problem isn’t that it’s too hard. It’s more that I simply forget. I’m a seasoned code-switcher when talking to a mix of English and German-speakers. But code-switching with Aleksander is another situation entirely. He doesn’t offer any prompts! So when I’m speaking English with my parents or PER, I just continue on with Aleksander until I finally remember I’m supposed to be speaking German with him. Erg!

I guess the only thing to do is to carry on. So that’s what I do. I switch back to German with him and keep going.

I’m still using the time between naps for our German time. Turns out, Aleksander is keeping his second nap … at least for now. So we still have about a three-hour window for German.

Aleksander still seems to be talking less than he was a few months ago. Oh, he makes plenty of sounds, chattering away to himself in syllables I can’t understand. But as to intelligible words, those are few and far between. He often says a-deh (=again) and a-duh (=all done). Yes, they sound very much alike. Luckily, he offers a sign with “all done” so I know which is which.

Still no German words. But he certainly understands me when I speak German to him. This afternoon, I told him: “pass auf die Finger auf!” (watch out for your fingers) as he closed the gate at the top of the stairs. He moved his little hand right over, so as not to pinch it! Yes, I remain in awe of my little boy!

One final note: I took a little holiday hiatus from my blog, and so there have not been any new words of the day. I intend to get back on track with that!

Here’s to a wonderful new year filled with many language adventures!

New Baby-related challenges November 22, 2010

I haven’t written in a while, partly because I’ve been so busy and partly because I haven’t had a whole lot of new things to say.

Now I have a new challenge, though. My one-year-old is now giving up his second nap! I’m currently mourning its loss, as it makes us both a bit cranky. But it also affects my German schedule. I had been speaking German with Aleksander in between his two naps – from about 12:30 to 4. So now that there are no longer two naps, I have to decide how to proceed.

I’m not sure I have a solution yet. We’re still trying to settle into a new routine in general. The single nap is being pushed back, and his mealtimes are also being adjusted. This change also affects the time of day we go out to run errands and meet friends. So where does German fit in now?

It would be great to still have a good four-hour block to interact with Aleksander in German. So I suppose it just comes down to before or after the nap? Right now I’m trying after the nap. I’m hoping the nap will become longer as Aleksander adjusts to the new routine. That would mean he’d sleep until about 2:30 or 3. Then we’d have 3-4 hours for German until my husband gets home from work.

I guess I’m processing all this here in my blog! We’ll see how it works out….